i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
