You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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