What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
