everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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