It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
