marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize