Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
