Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
