i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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