I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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