He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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