Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
