remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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