I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
