OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize