he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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