just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
