Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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