i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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