Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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