found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
