Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
