and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize