i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
