nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
