She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
