Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
