oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
