I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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