i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
