David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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