wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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