member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
