dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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