If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
