I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
