they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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