Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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