your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
