You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
