Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
