I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
