My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize