i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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