My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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