Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
