im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize