a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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