good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
