Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
