The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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