You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
