He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your penis caused this!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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