that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
