And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
