She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
