my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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