You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
