So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
