I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
