so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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