Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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