god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
