in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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