Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
