her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
