I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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