I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
