I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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