just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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