Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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